Contemplation of an existential existence

contemplation of an existential existence

the blank page stares past me
a cigarette stub dangling - holding tight
to crooked corners of its mouth -
(like Bogey, but with less charm)

smoky adverbs grab air
trying to sting my eyes
"so, what's it gonna be this time?"

"none of your damn business"
I snap - tossing the question
across emptiness caressing my desk
every inch covered in wasted thoughts
burning letters into each sleepy finger
(or was that the cigarette?)
"you just lay there"

but the shining glare of nothingness
proceeds to moon me
blinding my muse with weaving lines
dripping craziness from my gel pen
(never did trust lined paper)

"how about existential prose echoing
the meaning of universal metaphor...."

"too cliche"

"dead crickets?"

"already been done"

"then what would you suggest?"
careless laughter slaps empty paper
ignoring my disdain

I start to smirk pulling all 48
crayons from a torn box
"ready for some pretty flowers?"

"shit" mutters the page
puking all over my coral gardenias

Tracey -

I've read this a few times. Oddly, I'd like to comment backwards, beginning with: There's something I just love about the last two stanzas. I think you manage to say a lot about the relationship between the writer and page in very few words there and it flows well.

All that leads up to it -- I like it, but some of it feels forced, or perhaps just doesn't flow as well. In fact, now I'm wondering if that's on purpose - a "rough-ish" beginning, better flow in the dialog, then a great ending (the writer succeeds!).

I'd love to hear other comments, and also what you're thinking, Kat. (And welcome aboard!)

Kat -
thanks Tracey......this one is the proverbial 'writer's block' poem......but I was hoping to create an adversarial, yet creative, relationship between poet and the blank page.....without taking the poem or the poet too seriously......so it's a bit rough around the edges.....though any suggestions would be appreciated......Kat

Alcuin of York -

Great humor here. Also a great parody of some film noir. Should we call this a 'poem noir'? The juxtaposition of cigarette at the beginning and crayons at the end is also good. It adds a measure of absurdity to the parody, and accurately expresses the writer's frustration when faced with block.

As Bogey might say, "Nice write, schweetheart".

Alcuin

Kat -
"poem noir"......a great idea.....and for added ambiance, should be written whilst drinking pinot noir [though I imagine Bogey never drank anything but jack daniels]......thanks for the read......