Lamentations On a Free Market

Chapter V

And behold, Pharaoh dreamt of seven fatted cows,
followed by seven lean cows,
and Joseph prophesied seven years of plenty
followed by seven years of scarcity.
And Pharaoh decreed that grain be set aside
throughout the land during the time of plenty,
and rationed out during the time of famine.
Yet the people followed not Pharaoh,
but the golden jackass instead, saying,
"That would be a tax for the fat years.
It would be to tax fat!
It would be welfare for the lean years.
It would be regulation.
These are all sins
against the free market
we worship unto death;
and on whose altar we sacrifice the poor."

And the Lord looked down at the people's folly
and waxed wroth;
and unto them He said,
"I will greatly multiply your sorrows and afflictions;
In sorrow shall the many scrape by,
and your brethren of other lands will ridicule thee,
and your progeny will curse thee
for jacking up the realm,
for jacking their wealth,
for ignoring the weal."

"For I say unto you, your golden jackass is lame
when the fruits of your labors be scarce.
For the sons of men will bear any burden
for the necessaries of life.
Yea, when the cup runneth not over,
woe to the sons of Adam Smith,
for the Hidden Hand then becometh a fist."