Skip to main content Help Control Panel

Shakespeare's Monkeys

Infinite Monkeys. Infinite Typewriters.

More in Desde Debajo

Joy

Joy is
what children call happiness.
Women call it hope;
Men, the honor
of pain.

Anstey - on June 30 2007

I am sooo unmanly.


-----
  • stephan

Aesthetic Psychosis - on Jul. 1 2007

 

 

My God.

What a wonderful anti-cinquain - a form to which I have a sudden urge to return.

However -- I think that if you found a way to merge the two sentences into one - you'd end up with a much more powerful write over all. Also - the congruity of happiness and joy makes the second line a little deflated. I think if you changed the word happiness to a two-syllable word and ended that line with and, you'd end up with a platform to do so.

Oh, oh.

Also - (someone else told me this a while ago).

Unless the form specifically performs FOR the poem, it is not worth using.

You might merit from rearranging the line breaks.

 

Just thoughts.


Desde debajo - on Jul. 1 2007

a little ashamed to admit this...
but I didn't know I was writing in form. I'll look at what you said and see what I should do...


Share
* Invite participants
* Share at Facebook
* Share at Twitter
* Share at LinkedIn
* Reference this page
Monitor
Recent files
Member Pages »
See also