
My God.
What a wonderful anti-cinquain - a form to which I have a sudden urge to return.
However -- I think that if you found a way to merge the two sentences into one - you'd end up with a much more powerful write over all. Also - the congruity of happiness and joy makes the second line a little deflated. I think if you changed the word happiness to a two-syllable word and ended that line with and, you'd end up with a platform to do so.
Oh, oh.
Also - (someone else told me this a while ago).
Unless the form specifically performs FOR the poem, it is not worth using.
You might merit from rearranging the line breaks.
Just thoughts.

a little ashamed to admit this...
but I didn't know I was writing in form. I'll look at what you said and see what I should do...