missing

I shaved her head bald
(not because I hate
the dye job, or even
the way she styles it)
only to keep things
in her messy little life
a bit neater.

the splatter of blood
left an abstract smiley
on the white paint as
i sawed through first
the frontal, then parietals
and finally the ocipital
until
i had a perfect circle

all to figure out how
her brain works
but each lobe is
still a mystery

still, i will speak her mind:

The cerebellum
where she thinks
and fights over how
i might feed her soul

The cerebrum
where she counts
and imagines
how we might be

The brainstem
where her heart beats
her lungs fill up
her body cries out.

i will speak
but still
each bit of her
is unknown.

even as i jigger the bits
of her skull
back on like some
puzzle.

i wonder

if I'll fine all the peace...s.