Upon Hearing a Poet Preach

Leanne - on Apr. 27 2007
I am delighted to say that I, reading Snodgrass after our discussion yesterday, am fairly well convinced that he may -- just may -- be nearly as good as I am.  (Actually he's rather brilliant and a pleasure to read.)  It's very fitting that you've written this in form, you've captured a lyricism you leave latent a little too often.  (Apologies for the alliteration, not intentional I assure you.) 

Consider:  "They are wrong, all those who might"; "steal those moments pure and think", maybe even "each verse, meticulously planned" (there's nothing specifically wrong with that line as it stands, it's just a bit bleh to use "so" as an adjective).  "nipped the gentle small and swelled it grand" is very long and cumbersome, I'm not entirely sure what to suggest though.  If you were inclined, you might think of another adjective for "heart" other than "very", though the line is good.
You should listen to  beardie guys sing more often, they bring out some good poetry.