I loved you again after coffee

Tracey - on Apr. 18 2007
Hi Somday,

Upon first reading I thought that parts of this were great and parts needed to be amped up. But after several readings I think the simplicity of the presentation  had fooled me; there's a lot of great imagery going on here .

6 am
the sudden startle
of morning sounds
itself in the static
of the alarm

I got tripped up in the first stanza until I read it several times and then, POW! Very nice. It's the break between "of morning sounds/itself in the static." I kept reading "sounds" as a noun and not a verb. My bad. Great wording.

and my head

I get this and I don't. I'm not sure if it's necessary, not sure if you need another detail, or if I'm just a poetic idiot.

my legs give pause
before sliding over the side
not in dread, but
reluctant to depart
the pitch of yours

This is really lovely, and those last two lines are beautifully telling.

I fumble in the kitchen
over last night's leftovers
and todays duties
hoping for Columbian roast

Nice portrait of a morning routine. I really like the details you chose to spotlight.

I pull my robe a little tighter
chilled in the abscense
of last night
of us

Subtle, lovely transition leading out of the mundane into the mind/body/heart/soul memory.

We were something holy
I held my breath

Anyone who's been in love entwined with lust will recognize this pause of remembrance. Reading it connects me right with my husband.

Zap! I'm hooked.

Somday In May - on Apr. 18 2007

I really appreciate the time you took on this. Not only because you had good things to say, but the depth in which you said them.

*bows*