Forgiveness - Shakespeare's Monkeys

forgiveness

... no seriously, i would.

if we were friends
i would forgive you

when the lemon drops
fell from the sky

and you said
i was a fucking retard

and i would love you
when the cat

ate your nylons
and sat on the radiator

all night singing,
"Ding dong the witch is dead!"

and i would need you
when the moon rose

at just the right angle
to steal my breath

leaving me longing
for a single kiss

from you.
I would forgive you then.

Leanne -
I believe you mean "when the cat ate your nylons". Which is just another reason why I hate cats... and nylons for that matter.

Starting with "if we were friends" is good, it makes me wonder what the actual relationship is. I mean, it sounds like a longing, and perhaps the forgiveness sought is for being unable to give anything more. There is that "I am worth nothing and you must acknowledge it or I won't believe anything else you say" edge here, and then there's a stripping of dignity or perhaps simply a descent into the absurd, which will invite laughter.

Oh shoot, I didn't realise you used the word "longing" there at the end. Well, I guess that makes me redundant. Sorta. "To steal my breath" is just bordering on cliche, which you avoid so neatly through the rest of the piece that it stands out to me.
Also, is the single full stop after "from you" intentional? I'm not entirely sure what it denotes, if it is, since it doesn't seem necessary given the tendency to avoid punctuation throughout (save at the dialogue).