More in trying to apologize

what i feel

Alcuin of York - on Apr. 11 2007
“Juice glass” sounds awkward, and is unnecessary given the repetition of “juice” in the next line. Also, I think “remember” or even “I think of the glass” would work better than “am reminded”.
The 2nd. stanza is a contrast – succinct and ironic. The differing pacing of the two strophes packs a punch, adding to the expression of anger.
Alcuin

Anstey - on Apr. 11 2007
Awesome. thanks for the advice!

---

• stephan

Menu

Go
Content
Persons

HomeAbout The SiteNews Member Directory Member Pages Latest Articles Latest CommentsBook ReviewsDiscussion

User login

User

Password

Login

• » Register
• » Lost password

Share

Invite participants
Share at Facebook
Share at Twitter
Share at LinkedIn
Reference this page

Monitor

Recent files

Member Pages »

• a smattering of southern in the big sky state
• Mistah_Kurtz_HeDead: Daniel Ridges
• The Night Prophet
• Paganini's Postings in Poetry and Prose
• A Dog's Life
• Aesthetic Psychosis
• Alana: A Voice Too Long In Silence
• All things Fallica
• AmaNana's Personal Space
• aphasic's athenaeum of illiteration
• Beware of poetrydog
• BunnyFaris vs. Bunny Foo Foo -- Bunnies Unleashed
• Callooh's Odd Socks
• CE's Personal Space
• CelticLion-The Pornographer's Hyena Dies In a Loveless Lair
• Chamber of Poetic Conventions
• Chris and his mildly retarded sock puppet
• Christy's Space
• Classic Poems
• Coco's Library
• Daniela Voicu
• Deepak's Domain
• Desde Debajo
• Diary of a military wife
• DragonRyderWhiteWhirl of Words
• Eat At Joe's
• Emeya's Warren
• Filling Blank Pages with Amanda Marron
• For the Sake of Sounding
• GiggleSnots & Tatertots
  • Just a Nastey Journal
  • Long and Short of it
  • Members
  • Prose & Such
  • Words Unleashed.
    • Beside the Point
    • Lost along the weigh
    • Rawing Lines in the Sand
    • Release the Hounds
      • From Lowell to Boston
        • black
        • Renewal & Pompous Decisions
        • Conferring with the devil
        • half-day
        • flattery
        • that's my colon
        • Sun
        • mourning
        • Drizzle
        • Another Daze
        • Duty
        • The Tax-man Cometh
        • Little notebooks
        • Curses, Omens & Fate
        • Crashing
        • blue skies before snow
        • trying to apologize
        • The Honey in the Unbearable
        • Rebirth
        • Holy Saturday!
        • Three nails and a spear
        • Acceptance
        • In a Vacuum
        • The Art of Silence
        • Relevance
        • Fooling Around
      • ergo sum hominus
      • Not Quite Poems
      • turning a phrase on my tongue
    • Cats with Opposed Thumbs, Chalices of Mucus, and Several other Oddities to Avoid Whilst Poeting
    • Bigger than That
    • Dregs & Other Unreadables
    • Green Tea
    • It is what it is
    • Lost in Search of Bleaching Bones
  • Would you look at that?
• He was born a Scentless Apprentice
• Hecountsmytears' Poetry
• Icarus Iscariot & His Battles With Windmills
• Jack's Hideaway
• Julie's Poetic Prattlings & Creative mishaps
• Just another presto-digitator
• Kat's poetry
• Kathabela in Verse
• Kus of a different color
• La-Shout Let Loose
• Laurie's Library of Eloquence
• Library of Rhiannon Jones
• lilac trees & bumble bees
• Lisa's Studio
• Lobas stuff
• Margot Meloy ~ NubCake Extraordinaire
• Masovian Tales
• Moordykspot's Personal Space
• MosquitoBytes
• My Words, My Time: Poetry of Anna Blake Godbout
• Notes along the bias
• Only In The Eyes of the Beholder
• Painfully grinding back into gear
• Personal Space of Dawnmarie Desroches
• Personal Space of Kelly Reiger
• Poetography
• Roderick and Propaganda.
• Rogues gallery
• Scribbles and Tidbits
• Shan's Crap
• Shann-amatastic
• Sigmund Freud's Sewing Machine
• sinnaminsun
• Sir Reality and 11 Unicorns
• Somnabulant with Aggression, indeed
• Starla tastes of strawberries
• Sue Pearson's Personal Space
• Synapse: Michael Mission Harris
• The Fisher King's Castle
• The imPersonal Space of rws
• The Legend of Larry
• The Lilly Pad
• The Metaphysical Poet's sanity or lact thereof
• The Mind of the One Word Magician
• The Ninth Hour
• The Personal Space of U668857
• The personal space of Alcuin of York
• The personal space of alessandra gallo
• The Personal Space of Augustus Bailey
• The Personal Space of Beautiful Warrior
• The personal space of Bj
• The Personal Space of Blackbird
• The personal space of Colleen
• The personal space of Ellen Anstey
• The personal space of EmilyRose
• The personal space of FutureLes
• The personal space of Garrett
• The Personal Space of Janelle Rice
• The personal space of Jen
• The Personal Space of Jersey Daniel Griffin
• The Personal Space of Julie Kirk
• The Personal Space of Kage
• The personal space of Leanne
• The Personal Space of Marie Orrichio
• The Personal Space of Michelle Angelini
• The Personal Space of Norman Ball
• The Personal Space of Norman Milliken
• The personal space of Nyx
• The Personal Space of Phibe
• The personal space of Rene
• The personal space of Róbbi Skæra
• The Personal Space of Rygar
• The Personal Space of Steve Podielsky
• The Personal Space of Sue Ellen
• The Poetry of CM Bauer
• The Poetry of Kevin John Dail
• The Poetry of Michael Dunn
• The Treasure Chest
• This is the back finger nails scratch...
• Thorned Roses Library
• Thoughts that keep my pen awake
• TriOak's Poetry
• Undulating Uriel's Ubiquity
• Welcome back, Jers...
• word junkie's words

See also

• » Apr 2007 (369 pages)
• » Sep. 2008 (2104 pages)
• » Week of 04/09/07 (73 pages)
• » Week of 09/29/08 (2037 pages)

Monkeys

There are no monkeys here. If you're looking for monkeys, go away. Well, actually there are monkeys, but they're of the hairless variety that writes poetry and such. If that's not what you're looking for move along. 

Advertising