being a toad with bad eyes

I find it very difficult to say much that could be useful about this poem. I can nit-pick, talk about tightening the language or whatever, but is that what you need? I know you are perfectly able to do that for yourself!

It would be useful to have an insight as to what you wanted of it. WHY does it still dissatisfy you?

What do I get from the poem at the moment? (This is me brainstormng on paper)

This is a story about a 'magical' event that punctures the narrator's routine. I rather like the mathematical precision of time set against the homely (tea and biscuits) and the oddity of who the visitor is. (this does not detract from the fact that both the toad and the fox could really be charecter-types at work and the whole poem a worked out simile)

The first and third stanza reflect these three strands, and for me these two stanzas are the most satisfying. (To me there is something slightly magical about tigerlillies)

The second stanza lacks any sense of magic, though boiling could be precision, and of course putting on the kettle is mundane/homely. "as i steam quietly" doesn't work for me. It simply appears to introduce an irrelevant idea... I'd prefer something about the fox say nibbles his tail, circles three times before sitting or whatever.

The final stanza could be reinterpreted to bring in the 3 strands eg you have the precision of when he leaves, and a hint at the magical in that he becomes hard to see. You could strengthen the image by having him vanish in the dusk perhaps? And the third strand is missing - I'd want to end with something like picking up a hat from the hatstand, turning off the lights, or looking for your car keys.

But of course I have probablytotally misread what you were wanting to achieve. In which case ignore my comments entirely!

• stephan