masticating to auntie carol's corpse

i know words
and words know me
in red-blue-green-white plaid pants

a navy turtleneck
and shivershoutbegging for

her unheartattack
again.

She is cold, still
thirty years later

I do not know her words
but the smell of her marlboro's
and tom collins

is thick in me
like a fat steak

I chew
and chew
and chew

I search for just the right taste
of adjectival orgasm

or nounburst verbesque
poptittic momspankosity

and moan in spazecstazzy
when you come back

come back

i beg

she's still
so cold.

unheart

attacked

waiting
i am still