Family Man - Shakespeare's Monkeys

Family Man

I find myself admiring the pen rather than words,
its variegated casement or nib-flow;
and this backlit screen of electronic wizardry:
I ponder its fonts and textual functionality.

I'm all for analysis these days:
deconstruction, modelling, proto-typing.
My triumphs are financial reconciliation,
home economics, savvy investment.

I can understand why the old man
was prone to talk over my teenage melodies;
pass comment on vocal style or production
rather than sit until the music moved.

I prefer parkland to moors now.
Seldom stray from paths. Have forgotten the sad starry gutters.
Find the suburbs soothing. Prune roses.
Moderate and mediate. Abandon my bloody outbursts.

I grow politic, vigilant for any advantage.
I've bitten my tongue. Unclenched my fists.
Knuckled down. Faced facts.
Stiffened my resolve within a weathered skin.

So I can watch my children dance.
Be content. Clap-happy at their antics.
It's not denial but containment:
some utterly fierce and final beauty

must surely still lurk beneath it all
just prohibited and inappropriate:
for their sake I learn to drip-feed love;
sure and slow-burning, I self-regulate

by measured degrees my relative truth,
custodian now of the sweet bird of youth -
kindling old flames to fire the future,
doused by a new-found ocean of tears.

Stephan Anstey -

First, as a father, this struck me as so relevant and honest. I was deeply moved by the sentiment and the relationships in this piece. The unclenched fists next to the knuckling down REALLY snapped for me.

Liz Naude -

I think the same goes for the mom's ...somewhere underneath the responibility is still the girl who loves to dance.

U668857 -

Many thanks for comments, Stephan and Liz.

I wonder if this syndrome is only associated with those of a certain artistic disposition?

Or does everyone still want to dance in the eternal flame despite the conforming and compromising restraints of everyday reality...?

Laura doom -

Not being a parent, I'm hopelessly unbalanced and just fall over a lot.

This piece features a plethora of eloquent expression and imagery -- I just wonder if 'ocean of tears' as a conclusion does the rest justice?

U668857 -

Thanks, Laura...I wonder if "ocean of tears" is near enough a cliche'?...not sure ...will try and have a rethink...Rgds., Alan

Laura doom -

If you intended to finish on a cliché, then stop thinking--it's closer than near enough :>)

And on re-reading here and now, the whole stanza is 'near enough' cliché, so I guess I missed your intent and am a better person for the associated humiliation *gurgle* -- it is an apposite conclusion for your theme (I find myself admiring the pen rather than words).

U668857 -

No..didn't aim for cliche'...if it is hackneyed then needs some tweaking. Not sure I'd agree that the whole stanza is cliche'd ?... although the idea of living life (again) through your kids is an old theme...but I think it goes beyond that...

Laura doom -

It was just that on re-reading, my reaction to 'sweet bird of youth', 'kindling old flames' and 'ocean of tears' was that they were examples of imagery that are fairly familiar; which led me to the conclusion that you had chosen to reflect the 'moderation' (self-regulation) of the 'family' man in those parallel terms, a 'creative writing' scenario in which ideas/aspirations had been transformed into 'familiar' representations. Or something like that. It's not that the stanza as a whole is 'hackneyed', but that it incorporates metaphors that offer an immediate, recognisable interpretation without too much effort from the reader, and I made a careless generalization about the whole on the assumption that it was intentional. Sorry about me; I just assume that everyone will overlook my tendency to make assumptions :>)

U668857 -

Actually, on reflection that's a damn fine idea and I wish I'd thought of that at the time of composition...a sort of parallel mock-up counter-poising the hidden reality underneath it all...can see me coming back to this when it's become sufficiently distant....Rgds., Alan.

Laura doom -

You probably did, and I just triggered that recollection/recognition :>) You certainly articulate it with more eloquence than I was capable of...