Pale is the Heart

(One of my most popular poems)

the weight of winter
hangs low and rough
it pulls brutally against the darkest clouds

and yet the flame burns bright

the falling snowflakes
touch everything in quiet stillness
enfolding noise

the despair wrapped in beauty and silence

snow melts
gathering its tears into
a cloudy puddle

I look up and no longer see the stars

Stephan Anstey -

I am not being facetious - I'm genuinely curious - how do you determine which of your poems are more popular than others?

Laura doom -

I can see why this is 'popular' -- one of the first things I noticed was the absence of a reference to 'Heart' in the poem itself, which I regard as a good strategy (not that you necessarily regard it in that light) -- it encourages the reader to connect elements in the body with the title. 'weight of winter' is a sublime opening, and I'm guessing that 'enfolding noise' was a frequently quoted 'favourite line' in comments.

One minor suggestion -- the first instance of self reference appears in the final line, another effective technique for concentrating the reader's attention on imagery before hitting them with a 'personal' significance. Do you need both 'I's in that line? The second reduces the impact of that reference for me.

Laurie Blum -

Thank you Laura for reading this piece and helping me out. I do think I am going to remove one "i" from the last line. Reading it out loud both ways, I do think it would have more impact.