
I've often wondered about my last stanza, maybe there are too many too's... Any opinions or suggestions welcome.

Maybe reformat them, have the last few lines trail off more... like a wistful thought
Too pale to be brilliant
too late...
too soon....

Excellent suggestion. Replacing the 'and' with this simple format change heightens the repetition into a very nice poetic device that creates the very wistfulness that Laurie suggests - and ends the poem beautifully.