I'll Take Montana To Disappear

            Longing for the release of her Facebook account, DeeDee logged in.  After getting five notifications about five different games from five different people, she accepted them all.   She was listed as Ivana K. Moorehead because it sounded glamorous.  God only knows what the K stood for.  She had 238 friends, of which she knew 5 personally, and more “little” lies floating around than Warhol had paintings.  This was amazing, this internet.  Being somebody new, somebody different.  She enjoyed it immensely. 

It wasn’t so much that Deandrah Denise Crohan was longing for some sort of Facebook induced orgasm, more so of a respite from Bob.  Boring, tidy, incessantly complaining Bob… her accountant husband who was never happy with the house they lived in.  They moved almost every two years and this equaled out to be approximately 12 houses in 30 years of marriage.  And Bob had a different reason for moving out of each house. 

“This house is too small!” he would complain about the lovely white cottage in Narragansett. 

“This house is too green!” he would protest about the 5 bedroom Cape Cod in Madison. 

“This house is too loud!” he yelled about the condo in Sonoma. 

She often wondered about the last house.  How could a house be too loud?  Especially one in the what, to her, was the quietest town in all of the Americas.  DeeDee and Bob really had no need of a large house, or for that matter, a house at all.  They had three children who had moved out one at time, all at the ages of 18, and not one had been to any of their houses since they lived in Oklahoma 6 houses ago. 

Their first was Mark, aged 30, and living in the state of New York... although who knew where.  Mark was married to Karolin “with a K, not a C. thankyouverymuch” and had two children Peter-Paul and Mary.  He was also a wannabe Simon & Garfunkel member and was employed by the firm of MacDonald, Farmer, and Barne, attorneys at law… although he was not an attorney and more of a legal secretary.

Shortly after Mark came Divina whose real name was Rebekkah.  She was 27, living in Boise, Idaho, not married, and had four adopted children: Karen, Jack, Will, and Grace.  She was a self proclaimed psychic who had never had a correct “vision” and was always short on cash, but strangely owned plenty of property.  Just not any property worth building on, or so she claimed.

 And then there was Samson who at 24 was living in southern Mexico, engaged to Tangelo his “roommate”, and had no children but three cats.  He also had no job and liked to fish.  Samson still had trouble with sleepwalking, a condition he was plagued with since he was 12 and decided that sleep for the useless.  He tried to stay up indefinitely but fell asleep after 4 days.  This required him to wear a helmet at night for he was always running into walls.  Tangelo felt sorry for him and bought him an assortment of brightly colored fish stickers to put on his helmet three days after they had met.  Now Tangelo slept with an eye mask and wool hat on every night because he claimed the fish on the helmet stared at him and were plotting against the cats.