Psalm for a City Lost

In Lowell, God is unknown.
    his name is forgotten in Centerville.
his tabernacle is empty in Jeanne D'arc
    and only he knows were he dwells.

If there is passion like flaming arrows
    and hope like a shield on fifth avenue
then the memory of him is a sword, and we are war.

Glorious are you, and excellent,
    more than the valiant Merrimac water
plundered by the Pawtucket falls
    resting tears down his cheeks

If there is salt, like crushing words
    and death like a filthy poem
then this is the hymn of ocean, and we are peace.

The god of Mayor Bud is nothing but rebuke
    and a mare whinnies as she pulls back
in fear of the omnnipotent hand.
    Who are you that you can stand beside me?

If there is heaven, like cold judgment
    and earth like the silence before
then this is affliction, and we are disease.

Surely the wrath of man praises you.
    The survivors of our prayers cry out:
Yahweh, Yahweh, we are alone.
    We are alone.

Our neighbors bring presents, but no fear of god
    this is the price of my song:
a careful descent to a careless hell.

Mercieca, Andrew -

This is very cool in so many ways Stephan. On the one hand, it laments the godlessness of modern life, whilst showing the contempt AND hope you have for redemption. It also hints at your own place in respect to your god.

At least, that is the opinion of this godless wag.

Mos.

U668857 -

This stands out. There's a powerful interweaving of the declarative and the interrogative: the bold statement is juxtaposed by the questioning proposition.

It is angry, resentful and both sure and unsure. I like the use of the placenames - it gives context and physicality. I'd give "pawtucket" a capital first letter. There may be a spelling error in "vallient" - should that be valiant ?

I like the way it re-creates that Old Testament tone, with syntactical inversions ie. "Glorious are you, and excellent", and appeals to Yahweh. It has gravity but without being sanctimonious, and there's a terrible truth in the recognition of our barren secularism devoid of higher spiritual truth....Rgds., Alan.