2- White_Feather 
on Jul. 5 2007
Of course, i can't speak to meter at all, but i did want to tell you how absolutely beautiful i think it is that you're writing your vows, and in sonnet form! Very romantic! i like the essence of your words and i can almost envision them hanging in your living room in the style of an illuminated manuscript.
3- Anstey on Jul. 5 2007
No matter how much work it is, I think it's worth it. AND, I think it's incredibly romantic. AND I think He'll love it. AND, I think eveyrone will be amazed. AND I think you should record it first so you know how you sound reciting it. (IE PRactice!)
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- stephan
4- Tracey on Jul. 6 2007
I love what you are doing here. And...it feels a bit too forced. I'm not at all an expert on sonnets, but I think a revision is in order. Think about things you really feel rather than what rhymes, and then see how you can make it work. You know we're all ready and willing to help!
5- Shan on Jul. 6 2007
it does seem forced, I totally agree, it's not saying exactly what I want...yet. I haven't had time to sit down and work on it yet this week. I appreciate all of your help and will take any suggestions I can get!
You guys all rock!
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Life is what happens while you wait for great things.
Life is what happens while you wait for great things.
1- Alcuin of York
on Jul. 5 2007
To be iambic, one would have to read S1L4 as: "Your BEAU-ty I will EX-pound AT great LENGTH". But in natural speaking, we say "ex-POUND". )Check the dictionary, and you'll find (ik-spound')). The same problem with "embrace" (em-brace'), "erase angers" (er-ase' an'-gers), "passions persist" (pash'-ens per-sist'), etc. A lot of getting the meter right is just saying it naturally but methodically, like you were reading it from memory before an audience. Iambic should sound almost soporific: dah-DAH dah-DAH dah-DAH dah-DAH etc.
Hope this helps
Alcuin