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Comment inspired from anstey
" Anstey: Okey Dokey. Here was the original version, before I got all crazy with the letter V. Does this work any better? Sky ominous white
Black v-wings spiralling down
Vultures swoop earthward "
Actually, yes. I like this much more. I think the clarity helps a lot. I'm still not sold on the moment of revelation, however, it's there -- even if i think it could be stronger. All in all, a much more worthy effort, I think.
- stephan
by Anstey on Feb. 13 2007