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Yeah, I think this is too obscure for a haiku of any sort.
Haiku need to be very present with a clear moment of revelation and a seasonal/nature theme.
I'm missing that quite a bit.
Still, I admire the attempt! Keep going!
Haiku need to be very present with a clear moment of revelation and a seasonal/nature theme.
I'm missing that quite a bit.
Still, I admire the attempt! Keep going!
- stephan
This comment has inspired:
- » Rhiannon Jones on Feb. 13 2007 - Anstey: Thanks, Stephan. I thought that the "swoop" would be the ...
- » Anstey on Feb. 13 2007 - Rhiannon Jones:I think the lack of impact onthe swoop is ...
- » Rhiannon Jones on Feb. 13 2007 - Anstey: Okey Dokey. Here was the original version, before I got ...
- » Anstey on Feb. 13 2007 - Anstey: Okey Dokey. Here was the original version, before I ...
by Anstey on Feb. 12 2007