2- Sinnaminsun 
on June 24 2008
Cute! This type of poetry always appeals to me and I enjoyed reading your poem:)
A few suggestions, in your first line "were" should be changed to "was". Here's your syllable pattern per line: 9-5-6-6 7-5-6-6.
Here's my revision:
I wish I was a dandelion 9
drifting on the breeze, 5
Sailing through blue skies 5
float beyond the trees..... 5
See me dancing past the golden sun 9
On my wish I'd go, 5
Up into the heavens 6
and let my worries go. 6
Also, you could work on the meter of your poem, (stressed and unstressed syllables), which I didn't focus on in my revision.
I like your rhyme pattern of abcb efgf:)
3- Shan 
on June 24 2008
first of all Jen, I love this, it made me feel a bit lighter after reading.
Just a couple of suggestions:
In the line "Sailing through the blue skies" there seems to be a beat missing for me when I read it. Maybe an added word?
Same goes with the last three lines, they work well together but seem short compared to the rest.
As always I love reading your stuff
----- Life is what happens while you wait for great things.
Life is what happens while you wait for great things.
4- Jen on June 24 2008
Thanks for the suggestions
I shall tweak this here and there.
5- ZiGGY on Jul. 1 2008
haha this works well, not totally fluid but I wouldnt really wanna change anything
6- Aphasic 
on Jul. 4 2008
For rhythm purposes, I think I'd go something like:
I wish I was a dandelion
Adrift upon a breeze
Sailing through the sea-blue skies
Up high above the trees
S2 would need more modification to deliver the same, but I guess you're not looking to re-write, and maybe rhythm isn't the primary consideration here, so that suggestion is probably redundant Jen :>
This reminds me of...
I taught eye-sore a puddy tat - no idea where that came from, but I'm sure someone will enlighten me :>
Anyway, I'm relieved not to be a dandelion - my fate would most likely be a huge dose of herbicide...
1- Norm
on June 24 2008