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Shakespeare's Monkeys

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Dandelion

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Cute!  This type of poetry always appeals to me and I enjoyed reading your poem:) 

 A few suggestions, in your first line "were" should be changed to "was".  Here's your syllable pattern per line:  9-5-6-6   7-5-6-6. 

Here's my revision:

I wish I was a dandelion    9
drifting on the breeze,       5
Sailing through blue skies   5
float beyond the trees.....   5

See me dancing past the golden sun    9
On my wish I'd go,       5
Up into the heavens     6
and let my worries go.    6

Also, you could work on the meter of your poem, (stressed and unstressed syllables), which I didn't focus on in my revision.  

I like your rhyme pattern of abcb  efgf:)

by Sinnaminsun on June 24 2008