2- Alcuin of York 
on Oct. 12 2007
I find the irregualar rhymes a bit off-putting, not because they are irregular, but because (curiously) you have stretched a bit for some of them, For instance, in S7, instead of something simpler like "to right past wrongs", you went out of your way to put in something that rhymed with "forgot". I think if you dispensed with rhyme for a bit and trim some of the bland words (the a's, the's, that's, what's, etc.) that might be inessential, and then go back and add new rhymes in, the whole effect might seem smoother.
The story you tell here is quite sweeping, and is the best aspect of the poem. You cover a lot of ground in terms of both time and emotional issues. Like Tracey, I think it can be told better, and I think she would also agree it's one most people want to hear.
Alcuin3- Kzealy 
on Oct. 20 2007
Tracey: made some changes please reread.
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No one Can make you feel inferior without your consent.
No one Can make you feel inferior without your consent.
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No one Can make you feel inferior without your consent.
No one Can make you feel inferior without your consent.
4- Kzealy on Oct. 20 2007
Alcuin of York:See if this is better
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No one Can make you feel inferior without your consent.
No one Can make you feel inferior without your consent.
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No one Can make you feel inferior without your consent.
No one Can make you feel inferior without your consent.
1- Tracey
on Oct. 9 2007
In the context of dysfunctions on all sides of my family, I understand this and embrace a theme I don't often see in contemporary writing (admittedly, I read so much less than I used to that this theme might be everywhere and I may be in the proverbial dark).
I think I'd like more show than tell here. Or...that I'd like more lyrical language. Or...something. I feel like this is a draft - a later vs. an early draft - on its way to become something more.