2- Leanne
on May 23 2007
As I'm sure you already know, this is my favourite sonnet form and you've done it very well indeed. I'm not keen on the trochee you've slipped into L9, I'd suggest a fix there, but otherwise the meter's a pleasure to read. Trippingly off the tongue, in fact
I am delighted to see you're still hanging around, and I'd like to offer my very warmest congratulations.
3- Alcuin of York
on May 25 2007
Otherwise, a nice write.
Alcuin
4- Limeymcfrog
on June 7 2007
As always you are correct. I wish I had read this before I had the poem recited on the wedding day. I had many compliments and requests for a copy. Luckily I think I can give them the revised version and nobody would be the wiser.
I intend to be around more. Poetry replenishes me, espescially when I have such a learned and supportive audience. I've gotten away from it and suffered.
5- Leanne
on June 7 2007
I'm sure the champagne will have affected their memories anyway
It's a pleasure to see you back again.
1- Anstey
on May 23 2007
Brides are notoriously difficult. I recommend trading in for a Harley. However, if you've already procured the bride, this sonnet will probably suffice to assuage her more insane romantic tendencies.
On a serious note, in the first line the choice of 'our' instead of 'the' seemed a tiny bit curious, since it switches immediately to a third person view rather than that first person plural.
Good meter and the rhyme and meter seem to work well to me.
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