I miss...

It took me until I was thirty five to find the guts to tell my parents to stop using me as a pawn in their endless petty bickering or to stay out of my life.

My mother apologized and told me she loved me. My father told me stay out of his life. He said a relationship with me wasn't worth it.

I know the damage divorce can wreak. I know what it's like when adults think more of their own pain then the well being of their children and I swore that would not happen to my son.

What I didn't count on was that while it takes two to fight, it also takes two to be peaceful.

Let me tell you this, from a person who has lived this as both a child and a parent, you are all right, but in the end, I lean toward Stephan's point of view. We take a silent vow when we decide to nurture another life. That vow is to raise good, healthy, happy adults. Part of that vow is to be our children's strength, example and solice.

It should be a crime to the cause of their pain in order to meet our own needs.