July 15, 2007

Jeffrey, welcome to the world of the artist.  My theory on this is that people who are absolutely content with the way things are just aren't able to open their eyes.  And as a thinker, I'm afraid you're never going to fit in -- the world is full of sheep, you should know that by now  

Personally I've never even had a cigarette, let alone an illegal drug; I've never shoplifted and I have all sorts of problems if I even return a DVD rental late.  Although occasionally I do wish I weren't so bloody anal about these things, I've also come to the conclusion that were I to lapse I'd be so consumed by guilt I'd be even more miserable than if I'd just kept regretting not doing it.  Catch 22 I guess.  Alcuin is largely right, if ironically so -- we're constantly bombarded by images of people partying in orgiastic glory and made feel as if we're missing something for not wanting that.  It's marketing -- blame Bacardi et al.  Trust me, there are plenty of people who would rather a night in, and it's not because we're boring, it's because we're comfortable with our own company rather than needing to gloss ourselves over with mascara, smoke and silk knickers.  Insecurity starts to set in when we let ourselves believe that the glamour bombardments are right.  

It wouldn't hurt to find compromises -- for example, I'd prefer to go to a pub and listen to a band in relative peace rather than jump around in a sweaty mosh pit.  I'd rather go to a party on the beach than in a nightclub.  Still going out, but you're not compelled to act the same as everyone else.  You are not the same as everyone else -- my suggestion is, embrace it.