Timekeeping

Thanks Jen, Emeya - I've looked at this again, and accepted the arguments for having it centred, even though I my implementaion diverged from suggestions offered - the spacing (pausing) eventually resolved itself for me in the nature of the first & last lines, and the fact that it was only these lines preventing a 'symmetrical' presentation...

Emeya - can I ask, when you say 'phrasing' (lines 3 & 4), are you referring to the wording, or the rhythm, or both of these in conjunction?  I had reasons for writing those lines that way, but I'm interested to know how and why they they failed to 'work' from your perspective...oh, and thanks for your clear & graphic description of the form - if I'd attempted to do that, anyone reading would have been either confused or comatose :>