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These are usually centered. I think that it does make for a better presentation, the lines seem more balanced that way. From what I can tell, you have followed the form as it should be (it just occured to me that I've yet to write one of these - just a couple of cinquains here and there). I think my only thought here is that the 3rd and 4th lines could be different. They strike me as too obvious in phrasing. That said...
Heaven confessed although not laid to rest.
The naked stalk of childhood haunts
locking doors, picking bones.
....is absolutely excellent.
And for the person who was wondering what the form was, it goes something like:
Line 1 - 2 Syllables
Line 2 - 4 Syllables
Line 3 - 6 Syllables
Line 4 - 8 Syllables
Line 5 - 10 Syllables
Line 6 - 8 Syllables
Line 7 - 6 Syllables
Line 8 - 4 Syllables
Line 9 - 2 Syllables
...with the first and last line being identical. You can also go all out and write a rictameter chain.
-Emeya
by Emeya on Mar. 12 2008