Discuss: The absurdity of onions

Suggestion: Instead of "this is good...", "Life is good, I thought. Life is very good."

Query: Is there a word missing after "sting"?

I personally like cooked onions, but not so much the raw ones (except green onions & chives). I can't begin to imagine being onioned first thing in the morning. Ugghh!

Alcuin

I like the unexpectedness of where your poem starts and where it goes......the straightforward language provides a good canvas for your words......a few suggestions......

I might have started the poem with the more ambiguous stanza of waking up to the incessant breathing [the whole first stanza is excellent].......and saved the initial lines ["I am a man made out of onions.....yet oddly tasteful"] for near the end of the poem, for even more of an impact......either right after "The moment when I realized that I am the onion"......or just before the very last thoughts of "Life is good, I thought. Life is very good." [which was a good suggestion from alcuin]......

and perhaps adding a line break right before those two last sentences would emphasize that thought even more....

also, in the 'potato salad in the fridge' stanza, maybe an adverb after "until I stood" would be useful......and combining the last two sentences "I walked to the fridge and opened the door." would still keep the very matter-of-fact sound of your words, but let it flow a bit smoother.....

that said, I like this one very much.......Kat