2- Shan 
on June 24 2007
Thank you so much Leanne for your help.
-----
Life is what happens while you wait for great things.
Life is what happens while you wait for great things.
-----
Life is what happens while you wait for great things.
Life is what happens while you wait for great things.
3- Anstey on June 24 2007
It doesn't suck at all. Geez. Way better than the sonnets I muddle through. It's a bit sappy and lovey - which is very well suited for a sonnet, i think. I'm not a stickler for that, but I do think that sonnets are often best when they expoud on love.
-----
-----
- stephan
4- White_Feather on June 24 2007
Poetry sounds so differently from how I read it to myself, to how it sounds when the iambs are pointed out! Is this a wedding gift, Shan? What a nice tribute . . . the only suggestion I can muster is a really lame grammatical one . . . I think in L3 you want than, not then.
5- Anstey on June 24 2007
That's a great point actually -- reading poetry is NOT like hearing it.
-----
-----
- stephan
6- Leanne on June 24 2007
um... actually it is for me... but I'm weird.
7- Anstey on June 24 2007
Leanne: I think we can agree that you are officially weird. 
-----
-----
- stephan
8- Shan on June 24 2007
I think being weird is so hot. Thanks all for comments and help. I'm going to sit down and try another because Leanne promised to beat me.
-----
Life is what happens while you wait for great things.
Life is what happens while you wait for great things.
-----
Life is what happens while you wait for great things.
Life is what happens while you wait for great things.
1- Leanne
on June 24 2007
Well Shan, it doesn't suck horribly. You will get this, I promise. I may have to beat you. Don't make me beat you... it sounds like too much fun and I'd get used to it. Then I think I might be put in jail. Right. Your sonnet. Have done a couple of little fixes and sorted it into iambs, so you can see how the meter works.
WithOUT/ you IN/ my E/ver CHAN/ging LIFE
The SUN/ would EBB/ to SUCH/ a TI/ny LIGHT
No MORE/ i WANT/ than THIS:/ to BE/ your WIFE
To SPEND/ each MIN/ute OF/ all HOURS/ of NIGHT
SurROUN/ded BY/ your ARMS/ to KEEP/ me WARM
The BEAT/ of YOUR/ fast HEART/ aGAINST/ my EAR
With LIPS/ to LIPS/ and LOVE/ so TRUE/ to FORM
No MORE/ disTURBED/ by LACK/ of TRUST/ or FEAR
Your EYES/ a PER/fect SHADE/ of WON/ derFUL
And MY/ own LIFE/ in SUCH/ a STATE/ of BLISS
So LOST/ in LOVE'S/ comPELL/ingLY/ bright PULL
In SI/ lence HO/ping FOR/ your TEN/der KISS
And AS/ you SPEAK/ to ME/ a SOFT/ "i DO"
At LAST/ and AL/ways, I /beLONG/ to YOU
I really didn't change much, most of it is iambic -- the important thing to remember with this meter is to get yourself into a kind of chant rhythm, into the heartbeat, and make sure the words fit that pattern. It's not like normal speech patterns. Iambic pentameter is meant to be recited.