Bulldozer Prints

When I posted this poem on Alsop Review, I was told it had no hope. That is was a worthless piece of shit, and that I should give up on it entirely. I was actually pretty devestated, and I didn't really write much poetry for months after that experience. In fact, it was the impetus upon which a nuclear change occured in my writing. I went back to the very heart of things changed everything to the core of how i write. I think, all poetry I wrote before that is notably different than all poetry after. To this day, i find this poem hard to look at. Hard to think about. And virtually impossible to believe in.

I would go even further than that. This poem, and the criticism it received, actually made me question what I'm about and who I am, and why I bother. I felt like I should never write another thing again so long as I live. It sucked all the confidence and swagger right out of me -- probably a good thing I guess.

• stephan