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Shakespeare's Monkeys

Infinite Monkeys. Infinite Typewriters.

More in My Feelings are Choking my Opinions

My Feelings are Choking my Opinions

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I do wish more people who used poetry as a bit of a purge would read your work and realise that it needn't be unpoetic drivel. 

In the second stanza, I don't think "why can't I tell you" is doing you favours -- I'd suggest making it a simple "I can't tell you" statement.  There's no point in appealing to the subject after all, he's kind of unresponsive.  Also, I'm not sure that "introverted" is a particularly good insult -- it's more of a psych evaluation and surely that's not what you'd say if you were given open slather?   

From the third stanza to the end, I can't think of anything to change.  This is really good stuff, Rene. 

by Leanne on Feb. 23 2008