In the second stanza, I think it reads more smoothly without the "the's", and in the iv, without the initial "her".
This piece creates a feeling of being removed from time and space, placing you somewhere both spiritual and sensual.
Nice journey.
I think i'm going to have to agree with you, Emily. Thanks.
Well, poop.
"Milk is for babies. When you grow up, you have to drink beer." - Arnold