Discuss: Dark Reptilia

When higher aims are left behind to languish

And killer rage demands its rightful space

And nature has forsaken logic’s hand

The head will twist its sinews into anguish

And mutiny against the vile and base

Ignoring dark reptilia’s demand.

1 comment

1- Leanne on May 13 2008

A little bit more mutiny wouldn't hurt, frankly. I like what you've done with your rhyme and meter here, it works a treat -- though I'm less keen on all the "and" starts, such a high percentage in a small poem stands out quite a bit. Otherwise, this is a powerful social commentary and dark reptilia has a delightfully sinister feel to it. I actually wouldn't mind seeing another stanza, though you'd be hard pressed to find one more rhyme for the first line -- maybe two more stanzas, using different rhymes, slotted in between?

1 comment