2- ShannonV 
on May 13 2008
oh, i think this is beautiful. i love the first line, though like anstey i'm not sure what it means precisely. well.. it conjures a certain image in my mind but i'm not entirely sure what YOU meant by it.
i googled chang tzu becuse i didn't know who that was, and now i do, but i still don't understand the title really. i'm a bit curious.
but yes. i think this is beautiful. my only suggestion.. make it longer? because i want more. so.. that's not a real suggesiton.
3- Limeymcfrog on May 14 2008
Chang Tzu is famous for saying that he once had a dream of being a butterfly that was so vivid that he couldn't tell if he was a man dreaming that he was a butterfly or a butterfly dreaming he was a man.
As for my meaning, I always feel a bit of a failure when I have to explain it, but I realize this is a rather opaque piece. I'm saying that I spend my days in a stupor, wishing I could sleep and when night comes I can't sleep which disorients me so I feel like Chang Tzu with his butterfly.
Again, that's my meaning... but I believe when a poet writes a piece he or she hands it over to the reader. So, while that was my intent, I consider it no more or less valid than the reader's interpretation. (I had a very gung-ho creative writing teacher)
1- Anstey
on May 13 2008
I am not sure I understand the first line, but it's itneresting nonetheless. the third line I'd rather see you get rid of the 'and' and expand the opened. Why is it 'it' there -- wouldn't it be 'they' (two eyes?) in L4 could the 'and' be 'my'?
The last bit is interesting. Not unthought of, but interestingly put. There is a somewhat eastern feel to the ending sentiment, I think. Though, perhaps that's more 19th century German philosophy than Eastern.