2- EmilyRose 
on Mar. 24 2007
My first instinct is to explain, provide you with an image, but, I can't. That defeats the very purpose. So, I'll ask you this, what image does this evoke in your mind?
Answer me that and I'll tell you if I've come even close to achieving my goal.
Derma Kaput:
Answer me that and I'll tell you if I've come even close to achieving my goal.
Derma Kaput:
3- Derma Kaput on Mar. 26 2007
Image? A woman killed in an old black and white movie, film noir maybe. The image that stuck with me (the first time I read this) focused on the 'pitch perfect mouth.' I remembered a still of Joan Crawford, screaming. I had the impression this poem was more than image though, maybe thoughts of someone modern who romanticizes images from old movies. My favorite line is 'noted against her grey marble stomach', mainly because it seems to double as a grave marker. So I'm thinking this is a modern murder contrasted with a sanitized, romanticized classic movie murder. Close?
The reason I like this poem, though it's something of a challenge to read (with the lack of punctuation and shifting syntax) is that I don't get bored or irritated by the challenge. It seems experimental in what its trying to achieve, and while it may not be entirely successful, its intriguing all the same. I enjoyed the time spent puzzling over it, even if I entirely misconstrued what you were trying to do.
The reason I like this poem, though it's something of a challenge to read (with the lack of punctuation and shifting syntax) is that I don't get bored or irritated by the challenge. It seems experimental in what its trying to achieve, and while it may not be entirely successful, its intriguing all the same. I enjoyed the time spent puzzling over it, even if I entirely misconstrued what you were trying to do.
4- Derma Kaput on Mar. 26 2007
then again, she 'likes the movie star pose / she vogues naked' makes me think of Marilyn Monroe on her death bed. I really hope you'll share your thoughts on this, if only because I'm curious. After all, I shared mine!
5- EmilyRose on Mar. 26 2007
Thank you so very much for sharing your thoughts. I'm smiling, and so pleased, that you got all that from it. Modern death, literal or not, portrayed in black and white is exactly what I was aiming for.
Very dear friends beg me to use punctuation. I love their work, and respect their opinions because of the quality poetry they createm but, I won't use punctuation. Long ago, a very, dear and trusted man who was brutally honest with me about my work told me that poetry was a dance between the reader and the writer. He told me to challenge the reader, to let them dance with me, be my partner.
Another trusted man who was also a gifted writer told me that with all the value of workshops, (he runs them and does so better than anyone I know), we as writers had to realize there was a point that the work had to stand on its own. He put it to me this way: "If two people are discussing your work in Sweden over a rich cup of coffee in an open cafe', how are you ever going to explain to them that that was not what you meant at all? You won't even know that they are talking about your words."
Again, thank you so very, very much. I've drifted away, quite a distance from writing, and this conversation has both made me smile and brought me back.
Oh,
, have I answered what you asked me, or did I just ramble on?
Very dear friends beg me to use punctuation. I love their work, and respect their opinions because of the quality poetry they createm but, I won't use punctuation. Long ago, a very, dear and trusted man who was brutally honest with me about my work told me that poetry was a dance between the reader and the writer. He told me to challenge the reader, to let them dance with me, be my partner.
Another trusted man who was also a gifted writer told me that with all the value of workshops, (he runs them and does so better than anyone I know), we as writers had to realize there was a point that the work had to stand on its own. He put it to me this way: "If two people are discussing your work in Sweden over a rich cup of coffee in an open cafe', how are you ever going to explain to them that that was not what you meant at all? You won't even know that they are talking about your words."
Again, thank you so very, very much. I've drifted away, quite a distance from writing, and this conversation has both made me smile and brought me back.
Oh,
, have I answered what you asked me, or did I just ramble on?6- Derma Kaput on Mar. 28 2007
you answered very nicely, with some interesting thoughts thrown in as well. thanks.
1- Derma Kaput
on Mar. 19 2007