replete

my finger traces
a drop of salt
my eyes combine in deeper blue

Ok, the first bit, i really like. We've established that. 

your breath confirms my blood  
I lay in faith
replete in richness

This bit seems completely disconnected from the first three lines. I have trouble with my brain keepign the two halves in relation to eachother.

The image isn't extended. The image doesn't seem to have any correlation to the rest at all. There's a shift from 'me' to 'you' to 'i' ... that doesn't work for me either.

I think that's what's happening for me, the lack of cohesion loses me. It doesn't seem surrealist, nor does it seem long enough to twist back and reconnect.

I think i'd want to see you take the established opening lines and rework the final three to echo them in  some  bold exciting way.