Ommmmmm

I want to bounce a few chihuahuas too

Parts of this really cut, particularly the second stanza (though I'm not keen on "crunches slices tight", I'd get rid of one of the s endings).  I like what you've done with the language, the "yap yip and chew" / "wants needs has to have" kind of lines -- no wasted words and the quick punches are really effective. 

And I love the title!