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HANDS
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I really like the premise here, I'm a big fan of mapping like this. I do think the format could do with some small tweaking though, and my first thought was to start each stanza with the word "hands", which would only require changes in the last couple, say:
Hands, wrinkled, entwined
and, maybe:
Hands:
Mine are empty
by Leanne on Dec. 21 2007