HANDS

Better, but not complete. You're on the right track, I think. Let me just give you the parts that sound 'off' to me.

"glows in  bright / young eyes"; "shine / reciprocated"; "still glowing / eyes".  Mary Oliver wrote that she revises her poems as many as 50 times; don't be concerned about going back to this to pick at it for days or even weeks. It's normal.

The only real objection I have is the placement of the word "faded". Which is faded - the 'long years' or the 'love'?

Alcuin