More in Red
Red
Really well done here. I have a few suggestions, mostly for flow. S2L3, drop 'gave her' and then in L4 change 'said' to 'saying'; S3L1, drop 'that',L2 drop 'and'; Then I could see combining Stanzas 5 and 6 into one stanza to mirror the beginning stanza. The ending is awesome!
----- Rene'
by Rene on Dec. 20 2007