Bitter Sweet

I've seen the form, but I've forgotten it's name. Forms are difficult to follow, more so when they're fairly complex. It's even more difficult to smoothly deliver a message through a complex form. The message of "my finances suck, but love salves all" is a bit cliche, but that doesn't make it false.

As for the form, is it supposed to be iambic pentameter? If so, it stumbles in lines 1,7,8. If not, then fault my ignorance. The rhymes are spot-on. Your alliteration is inventive, as are many of the lines.

However, overall this did not work for me emotionally on either half of the message. The "bitter" seems almost obsessive; and the "sweet" is unconvincing - I think primarily because of the word "redemption". It feels formal to me. Still, I give you points for taking on the challenge of this form. I have trouble with premade forms like this and even sonnets, and so I appreciate the challenge you've taken on.

Alcuin