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Shakespeare's Monkeys

Infinite Monkeys. Infinite Typewriters.

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I absolutely love the image, but there are a couple of lines that drag it down I think, there's a graceful style to the whole of this, but in places I think maybe it's a tad overwrought.

 Line one specifically. What is a "winsome wisp of essence" - honestly, that left me scratching my head a bit.

I love the militiristic 'sortie' in relation to the heron's flight. Fantastic that.

I am a fan of the word "plethora" but in this case, I am not sure it fits right. The meaning is absolutely perfect, but just that particular word in this particular poem, it just lept out a bit, and not in the good way (e.g. Sortie)

Ravenously is another word that lept out as overmuch.

I am a touch uncomfortable with wanton need... it just feels.. novice to me. Not that I wouldn't use it, I'm just tossing a red flag up so you can think about it and decide if it's asolutely perfect here or not.

Seriously James, great stuff.  

 


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  • stephan

by Anstey on Aug. 23 2007