July 15, 2007

As more of a "good girl" than not for most of my life, I've had those moments of wonderment. As an adult swept into caregiving for my parents at an early age (26), I've often had moments of wishing for a very different life that involves travel, weed and dirty dancing 'til the sun shines.

I find two things really helpful in those moments of self-doubt and confusion:

1) Getting out of myself, as in being with other people or helping someone with something. Sometimes I can see myself better -- what turns me on, makes me laugh -- with other people as both mirrors and windows into other ways of thinking and being.

2) There are a few things that bring me joy and/or put me in a state of "flow" where I forget about time and space and feel genuinely "authentic:" When I do mosaics, when I am playing and laughing with my kids, when I'm swimming or belly dancing. The thing is, I rarely make time to do most of those things, so the trick is to be conscious and just do 'em.

:)