Embracing The Tempest

Hey, nice job. couple of minor points. I'd remove the exclamation point, the parens deemphasize the you try to emphasize with the point.. i think it doesn't work. If you want to emphasize that line, i'd say break it off as it's own stanza.

I'd also suggest removing the 'up' -- just reach toward the skies.

And i'm not sure about 'can't help a little' -- i think maybe you could pull that out and emphasize the point.

rather than 'finding' i'd just say 'find'

I'd flip the next two lines

"find hidden raindrops/and cool relief/between raindrops"

This last bit, I think needs a bit more pop. I'd remove the perhaps. Be bold! when the storm settles

i will dance in the rain/
then make love to the solstice sun
and her promises of steamy air"

or something like that. I think the boldness would be a bit merrier is all.

Good job!

Fondly

stephan

• stephan