Origin of Sin

The more I look at this, the more I like your interpretation of the form.  Strictly speaking, it shouldn't just be the consonant sound that's repeated as you've done in a few of your lines, but rather the entire syllable sound -- and yet yours work, particularly with the longer, softer consonant sound of d.  The "sweet/teasing" also works because you've essentially reversed the syllable sound from "eet" to "tee" and it's an extremely interesting effect. 

As for the words themselves, they're quite excellent.  Personally, though I quite like the myth of the garden, I absolutely despise the spin that's been put on it -- fancy making it a sin to want to use your brain.  It's like taking on a job for the mafia... just don't ask any questions and we'll get along fine... I think Eve should be celebrated for using her initiative, quite frankly.  What was God hiding that he didn't want her to find out?  They call it innocence, but it's ignorance, and that's the real sin in my eyes.  But I'm a heathen and definitely not going to that eternal dullness.

There was another period in history where the Church insisted that only the clergy could be educated. We call it the Dark Ages.