Penthouse Suite

This might be just me, but apart from the obvious allusions I don't get sex out of this at all.  It sounds to me about reading either a book/poem or a letter.  The last lines seem to be saying "you've laid yourself bare by writing and I'm completely open while I'm reading". 

I like the sounds you've employed in the first few lines, particularly the near-rhyme of voyeur/more.  To take full advantage of the continuation of sound, you might like to rearrange L5 to "to move in closer".  

"Lightly brush my lips" is ever-so-close to cliche.  It is almost saved by "upon your thoughts" but I would suggest rethinking it anyway. Similarly, "for just a little while" -- there are more interesting ways to say this.  

All things considered, though, it's well on its way to a very fine poem.  (And if I've got your metaphor wrong, don't worry, I just like books...)