Choosing the Middle

First off I really like this, the image holds strong in my head.

Suggestions:

Stanza 1 L2 - get rid of "Like", I think it make the image even stronger when you see it as and not like.

In L2 and L3 how about combining, something like "Her draping robe flowing free butterfly wings fluttering

Stanza 2

I love.

Stanza 3 L1 In breathlessly, How about just using breathless? L2 - I think you could remove a couple of words and say something like "The Green of her eyes a glittering deep lake in the sunshine"

Suggestions aside, I love this poem Ellen and look forward to reading more.-----Life is what happens while you wait for great things.