retribution

I like the idea of this poem, the heaping on of retribution but I feel you begin to run out of steam by the end. I feel it falls apart in the last 4 lines really. Your imag becomes too general, unfocussed that the final two lines are a let down...

I want something like

"tell me it's good. tell me how she
would try to get into college but
failed due to her incorrigible nature
and ended up working in MacDonald's

Whispering wind, you mustn't tell me
that she made good
and that person right there
with the soft top car
and the wiggling hips
is she"

Obviously in your words rather than mine!