Penthouse Suite

a lot of excitement here, and if I could...I would take out line # two... just skip it, and leave that to the imagination.

I'd skip right to .."And I,..."--it feels stronger and more mysterious. 

I would take out the capital letters...as in "Disintegrate"--I would neat the end...

and lastly take out the two lines that begin "Unspeakable...to truth" and just use those potent last two lines.  That way it is more evocative, I think.  This is a very enticing piece, and inviting-- and I think you have even more than you need...

these are personal preferences...but for me it makes your work even more inviting when you pare it down a little and one feels even more as if one is peeking into this situation...or finding oneself in it! It's excellent.