003 London Marathon

I am not sure about the parentheticals, I tihnk it reads more smoothly without them. I don't think the inderminate gender is particularly the point, but I might be wrong. At the end, I also wonder about switching out the indefinite articles 'a' with 'the's -- i think it has more pop if it seems more single-minded. I particularly like the first stanza. It's a very strong clear image which sets up the whole point rather nicely.
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• stephan