More in It's a good thing he's cute
It's a good thing he's cute
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Let's get the bad-bads out of the way. I think the L1 end word should be "peeks", n'est pas? Also, there's no reason to capitalize the beginning of each line. It was once a custom, and usually doesn't affect quality, but this poem is meant to be read as something informal and natural. The capitals make it too formal. Finally, I think the "bob" in Sponge Bob needs capitalization.
I normally regard writes about "my cute child" as sentimental - and they usually are. You've avoided this by displaying his faults in a fairly neutral voice, giving us more of the tolerant loving mother than the teary-eyed mother. Also, you've gathered a lot of surrounding imagery to give us a sense of his activities - squished cat, potato chips, etc. You're letting us fill in the blanks, and that makes this poem a cut-and-a-half above most other such poems.
Alcuin
I normally regard writes about "my cute child" as sentimental - and they usually are. You've avoided this by displaying his faults in a fairly neutral voice, giving us more of the tolerant loving mother than the teary-eyed mother. Also, you've gathered a lot of surrounding imagery to give us a sense of his activities - squished cat, potato chips, etc. You're letting us fill in the blanks, and that makes this poem a cut-and-a-half above most other such poems.
Alcuin
by Alcuin of York on May 19 2007